Summer Neptunia: The Slimy Conspiracy of R-18 Island!
by ABoredGuy1
Summary: Ah, will this be a normal summer vacation at R-18? Such things don't exist in the Hyperdimenion! As IF is about to find out in the Slimy Conspiracy of R-18 Island. (Rushed for a competition, might come back to fix.)


Summer Neptunia: The Slimy Conspiracy of R-18 Island!

"YAHOO! We're here at R-18 Island! The absolute BEST place to visit in the summertime! Citizens from all across Gamindustri come here to enjoy its clear calm waters, the beautiful warm sandy beaches, its amazing facilities, and of course the main attraction the Mysterious Lights of Censorship! Ah, I remember it like it was yesterday when I tricked my sister into getting naked by…"

"Knock it off Neptune, remember we are not here on vacation. We're here to meet the new head of the Island who's invited us, and I won't have you messing this up with any of your shenanigans." Tsuned the Tsun Noire.

"Aw come on, you just LOVE to suck the fun out of everything don't you Noire?! Why can't we treat this as a vacation and not as work?" The upset Protagonist of Protagonists, Neptune cried out.

"Because this IS work Neptune, not that you would know anything about that…"

"Let's just get this over with, that new novel I've been meaning to get is about to come out and I want to get one before they're sold out. The bookworm of Lowee replied.

"Indeed, I too have something I must attend to back home. My guild needs me for an upcoming raid in 4 Goddess Online." Added the busty gamer of Leanbox.

"FIIINNEE! But we're not leaving until we take at least one swim in the ocean."

After being closed during the off-season, R-18 Island had been rebuilt with new facilities and surprises for the summer. The new manager invited the CPUs, sisters, and their friends to the grand reopening of the resort, most likely for a sponsorship. As the group entered the processing center they were greeted by the smell of burning electronics. The security terminal that discriminates against flats had already been destroyed, with nothing left but a sparking pile of junk. They all looked at Blanc, who claims she had nothing to do with it and passed the gate without any other problems. Neptune started to spout strange theories as to the mysterious death of the terminal.

"Are you suggesting they preemptively smashed the security terminal for Blanc's and your arrival?" Vert asked.

"That's just stupid Neptune." Blanc responded to Neptune.

"Maybe we should have Nepgear speak with us instead." commented the Tsun.

"It's okay really, besides Neptune's the CPU of Planeptune. She should be the one to represent the nation." Responded Nepgear, the candidate of Planeptune.

"But don't your people think you're the CPU, Nepgear?" Uni the candidate of Lastation asked.

"Nepgear would make a much better CPU than dummy Neptune!" Ram the troublesome candidate of Lowee commented.

"Um… yeah!" The shy candidate of Lowee added in to her sister's comment.

"Ow! My heart can only take so much of these hurtful comments…" Neptune dramatically replied. "Well now that we are in, we should meet up with the others. They said that they…"

"NEPTUNA!" Neptune felt the full brunt force of the infamous P-ko headbutt, knocking the air right out of the Goddess. She took a few steps back before dropping onto the floor, feeling the angels coming for her.

"P-ko… ugh…" **[Neptune has left the party]**

"NEPTUNE! NOOO!" Nepgear rushed to her sister's side as she laid there dying. Her big sister felt as if it was her time, she grabbed the hand of the candidate, asking her if she swears that she would protect Planeptune and uphold the role of the protagonist. But before she could hear her sister's response she was attacked again by the tiny CPU known as Peashy.

"Neptuna you're here!" Peashy shouted with excitement.

"Oh no! Neppy is dead…" the sleepy airhead of the other Planeptune mourned.

"Come on Nepsy, you should be able to withstand an attack like that." said the red haired former CPU of Planeptune, Uzume Tennouboshi, criticizing her junior.

"Huh, so you all really did decide to come." said Noire.

"We got your message that said there was going to be a biiiiig party here, so I flew over with Peashy."

"Wait… YOU… flew, in your Goddess form?" Asked Blanc.

"Uh huh, the people here must have been reeeeaaaally excited to see us. They screamed and ran to tell their friends when I went over to say hi."

"Okay… you wouldn't happen to have anything to do with the destroyed security terminal?" Noire asked.

"NOPE! The mean screen lady was already dead! Peashy responded.

"And the mystery continues! … dun dun *smack* OWIE, that hurt Noire!"

"Knock it off Neptune."

"I got your message too, figured that it would be nice to spend some time at the beach with friends." said Uzume.

"Indeed, it is wonderful to see you all again." said Umio, the handsome fish companion of Uzume.

"Hey, what's with the shirt?" Teased Neptune as she came up to Uzume's side. Uzume was wearing a Dogoo T-shirt Umio had bought for her at the gift shop over her swim suit.

"Mnn… I didn't realize that there would be this many strangers… it was kinda embarrassing."

"The beaches of the Zero dimension were always empty, to see them full of life is quite a fulfilment." Umio added.

"There is no reason to be ashamed of your body, commented Vert. Much to the disdain of Blanc.

"I'm kinda self conscious when it comes to things like this…"

"Come on Uzume! I know you got a nice bod from that time we took a bath together." Said Neptune, causing a few bystanders's heads to turn.

"Don't say that out loud!"

"Well, it's really nice for all of us to be together again. Why don't we all take this time to explore the new resort? The meeting isn't until later anyway." suggested Nepgear.

The CPUs all agreed and made their way to the beach, they were stunned by what they saw. What shocked them was not the new towering building that was the main resort, or how clear and clean the area was. By the looks of it R-18 management had invited all of their friends, and by all I mean ALL. Anyone who helped the CPUs during their adventure was there on the island as well. The Makers were enjoying the warm sandy beaches and cool ocean as well as the free services and treats given to them by the vendors.

"W-Wow, is everyone here?" asked Noire.

"Maybe, but since the author had to rush they won't get any speaking lines." Nep replied.

"Nep-Nep!" Compa waved her friends over. She was sitting at a table with their friend IF, and was enjoying the blue R-18 special smoothie that the staff provided to all of the guests for free. The group made their way over to the two and sat down with them.

"Heya Compa, I didn't expect to see you here, I thought you had work at the hospital to do." said Neptune to Compa.

"I got an invitation to the resort's grand reopening, so I asked my bosses if I could take a vacation and they said yes. They seemed very eager for me to go on one, maybe it had something to do with the 'accident' I caused with the saw blade."

"That's… nice. And Iffy's here too? It's not like you to take a vacation, especially to the beach. Oh whatevs, We're going to have so much fun together!" said Neptune hopping with excitement.

"I'm not here for fun Nep, I'm on official Guild business."

"Aw boo, Iffy doesn't want to play with us." Pouted Plutia.

"We're not here for fun either, Plutia." said Noire. "So what's the Planeptune guild's interested in?"

"The Guild has had a growing suspicion about this new 'owner' of the R-18 island. You all may have not known this but the reason why R-18 island was closed for a while was because the old places had gone bankrupt, apparently with the population becoming more shut-in no one was coming to the island. Then suddenly this mysterious figure swoops in and purchases all the properties and 'makes it better than ever' with these improvements and free services. No one knows exactly who he or she is or where their money is coming from, so Histoire sent me to find out." said the guild agent.

"Well that's what we are here for too, they want us to visit and most likely give our endorsement." said Blanc.

"Seems like you weren't the only ones, I asked around and it seems just about every one of your friends also received an invitation. If you're going to meet this person, mind if I tagged along?" IF asked.

"I don't see why not… besides this would be a great opportunity for all of us to spend time together that's not related to a world ending event." said Vert.

"But first let's hit the water!" shouted Neptune running off into the ocean.

"As expected of Neptune…" Nepgear sighed.

"Hey they got snow cones! Let's go Rom!" said Ram dragging her sister by the arm.

"DON'T RUN OFF TOO FAR" Blanc yelled at her sisters, running after them.

"Why look Nepgear, they have a free spa! I wonder how their masseuse compares to my fair Chika." said Vert bring her not sister with her.

"H-huh, wha… but that requires we get naked!" Nepgear replied, being easily manipulated by her 'big sister' Vert.

"Yo Umio, they got volleyball, I've always wanted to play a game with more people."

"If that's the case, we'll be your opponents, right sis?" asked Uni.

"Hah! As if they stand a chance against the best." Proudly said the Tsun.

"My, I'm sure this will truly be a fierce game, but no doubt it will be fun." said Umio, swimming to the court.

"I want to be on the fishy's team!" said P-ko.

"Slow down Peashy!" said the sleepy Ploot, fighting her temptations to nap of the warm sand to play with her friends.

"So… are we all just going to ignore the possible dangers…?" asked IF, to apparently herself at this point.

"Sorry Iffy, In the meantime, we should enjoy our time here." Said Compa, following her friends.

"*Sigh*, well at least this means I'll be alone without the typical baggage they bring. I just hope I'm wrong about this bad feeling."

**Meanwhile in the spa**

"Um… Vert… I don't know about this." said Nepgear, wearing nothing but a bathroom robe now.

"It's alright Nepgear, I know the stress of running a nation with Neptune must be taking a heavy toll on you, so this is the perfect opportunity to release that stress." One-chan Vert assured her 'darling little sister'.

"I… Okay…".

"I'll be in the other room if you need me" Vert walked into a separate massage room, leaving Nepgear alone for the moment.

Nepgear walked into one of the rooms and saw a sign that read: Please undress and lie down on the table. A masseuse will come. She did as the sign said and waited only a short moment.

"Hi" a high pitch voice said behind her. "I'll be your masseuse for today! How have you been?"

"Oh, I… I've been good. Honestly, I'm a bit nervous about this." Nepgear replied.

"It's alright. If this is your first time I'll be sure to be gentle." The masseuse applies oil and begins Nepgear's massage.

Nepgear could feel something cold on her back but it didn't quite feel like a human hand, but rather something else familiar, something… lewd. Nepgear quickly turned around to see a tentacle Dogoo floating above her. The Dogoo smiled as its slimy tentacles rubbed all of Nepgear's exposed body.

"EH?! WHY ARE THERE DOGOOS HERE?!" Nepgear cried out as she jumps out of the table.

"Huh?" The floating Dogoo, approached Nepgear, who was trying to cover herself with her towel. "Oh I get it. It's okay, I'm not a naughty Dogoo, I work here."

"D-Dogoo staff?!

"Uh huh, would you like to continue with your massage? The Dogoo menacingly approached Nepgear with her tentacles wiggling with delight.

"I-I'M GOOD!" Nepgear ran out of the room and out of the spa. "Vert I'm going to find my sister!"

"Wait miss you forgot your clothes!" The Dogoo chased after her.

"Hm… was that Nepgear?" asked Vert in the other room, enjoying the tentacle rub.

"It's okay, it happens from time to time." Replied the Dogoo continuing on with her massage.

"Ahh! Right there!" Vert screamed as the tensions of her body was released by the skillful hand… tentacles of the Dogoo. She didn't seem to mind being touched by a monster.

**Outside on the beach.**

"Heads up Umio!" Uzume called out to her fishy friend, sending the ball towards his direction. Using his tail Umio bumped back to the Tsuns side of the court.

"Not good enough!" said Uni as she dove to bump back the ball before it hit the ground.

"Pea's turn!" Peashy slammed the ball with all of her tiny might, causing it to smack Noire right in the face. Claiming the life of another CPU.

"Peashy you're not supposed to hit people with the ball!" yelled Uni.

"What?! That's boring!"

"Ugh… what hit me…?" asked Noire.

"Excuse Me Miss are you alright?" a high pitch voice asked.

" I'm fin… Wha-WHAT!?" Noire screamed as several Dogoos approached her.

"Hi, would you like a smoothie?" A Dogoo offered to Uni.

"Why are there monsters on the beach?!" Yelled Uni.

"We work here, we are here to make your stay as pleasant as it can be." Replied a Dogoo.

The group looked around to see that the entire resort was staffed by Dogoos. With Smaller ones keeping the beach clean, the floating tentacle ones serving refreshments for the guest, and Dogoo man attending the stands. Never before had the CPUs been surrounded by this many Dogoos without them trying to attack them.

"I take it talking Dogoos is rare in this dimension? Said Uzume. "Pass me one of those."

"Here you go, Miss." A heal Dogoo hovers over to Uzume with a blue smoothie.

"I thought intelligent Dogoos only existed in your dimension Uzume." Commented Noire.

"The new manager of this resort said that they were hiring Dogoos. Just about every good Dogoo from the mainland is here." The server Dogoo said.

"And who is this mysterious manager may I ask?" Said Umio.

"I'm not supposed to tell until their reveal. Until then, enjoy."

The Dogoos continued on with their work, leaving the CPUs speechless and with many questions. Only now did they seemed a bit concerned about this mysterious new owner of R-18.

"Huh, how did we miss all those Dogoos at the front?" Asked Neptune, drinking one of those Blue smoothies.

"Neptune?! When did you get here?!" Asked Noire as she jumped back from Neptune's sudden appearance.

"I heard the cries of a Nowa and followed them to the source, by the way, you should try this!" said Neptune, shoving the blue smoothie in Norie's face.

"Well, the Dogoos said they are good, and they seem pretty friendly." Said Uni.

"Aren't Dogoos perverted meanies?" Asked Peashy.

"I really don't like the idea of being served by those slimy little bastards."

"That's racist Noire." Said Neptune.

"Well, I'm willing to give them a shot, besides they're helpful." Said Uzume.

"Nnn… it doesn't matter anyway, we're here to meet the owner and that's it. FINE… I'll put up with these Dogoos until we leave. Now give me that smoothie." Noire swipes the glass from Neptune's hand and walks off with it.

"I'd knew you'd eventually come around ya Tsun."

**Main resort building**

"So none of you are allowed to reveal your boss's identity?" The guild agent asked the Dogoo working the reception desk. Asked IF.

"That's right miss, the boss says that she wants to keep it a surprise. The CPUs are about to meet her in a few minutes. Until then, Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"Yes, any reason why the staff is made up entirely of Dogoos?"

"The boss thinks the resort would gain more traction friendly Dogoo as staff. Well, once they warn up to us, I can assure you that every Dogoo here is friendly."

With the meeting starting IF decided to just ask her questions to the new owner directly, she thanked the Dogoo and made her way to the others. Together they were guided by a Dogoo who led them to the manager's office. The CPUs and IF entered to see a familiar face.

"Sup broads!" The group stood in shock at who was in front of them. A grey-skinned pointy-eared girl in a golden swimsuit sat on an oversized swivel chair, with a tropical smoothie in hand. Still sporting that iconic mouse hoodie, only this time the broken hearts were replaced with golded R-18 emblems.

LINDA! The CPUs all shouted in unison.

"Heh, you should see the looks on your faces." The former Underling responded with a smug smile. "That's right, I'm an underling NO more! This time I'm my own boss!"

Linda was then blinded by the divine light of the CPUs and felt a dozen blades placed across her neck. The Goddesses had gone into their HDD form and pinned Linda down on her chair. She offered her smoothie to them in an attempt to make peace; Purple Heart snatched it out of her hands, gulped it down and smashed the glass onto the floor.

"Eh, nice to see you all again. I kinda expected this..." said Linda.

"Tell me Linda, is this part of some elaborate trap? You should have known better than to face the C... NGH!" Purple Heart felt an agonizing pain across her head.

"Did you get a brain freeze, Neptune?"

"Pathetic" White Heart commented.

"Uzume has heard bad things about you!" Said Orange Heart, ready to deafen the delinquent with her microphone.

"Hey Hey chill out everyone! I don't have any underhanded schemes or anything like that. I've gone straight and want to make it up to you all."

"Is this like the time you've gone "straight" and spiked my sister drink? Asked Purple Sister.

"Wait, are we going off the game canon or Anime canon?" asked Purple Heart.

"I promise I'm legit, I invited you guys over as a sign of good faith. I even smashed that terminal in the front for us flats."

The CPUs stood there dumbfounded, it looks like Neptune was right about something for once.

"How the hell did a rat like you managed all this?" Black Heart asked Linda, pressing her blade closer to her neck.

"Well after you and that old blue-haired chick turned the island into a battleground, things started to go downhill. Lots of these places would have closed down so I bought them all up, effectively making me the owner of R-18 island."

"So we are going off the Anime canon."

"And just how did you manage to make enough credits to purchase this much property? I assume it was through video game piracy?" asked Vert.

"Oh come on, you want me to give away the secrets to my success?" Linda could feel the blades pushing closer. "Fine, I made my own fortune by marketing Dogoo products. Despite being freakin perverts, you can't deny they are cute. Plus I save a ton of money hiring then instead of people."

"Would you like a smoothie?" A heal Dogoo waiter asked Blanc.

"NO I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT PIECE OF SHIT!" White Heart screamed as she knocked then small table out of the Dogoo's hand.

"WAH!" The crying Dogoo fled from the scary CPU.

"Blanc, that was uncalled for. Even if Linda is a devious little delinquent, that's no way to treat these adorable little workers." Green Heart began to comfort the crying Dogoo, holding her in her chest. "There there, did the mean little Goddess make you cry?"

"*sniff*, a little, I'm used to it now though. You're very nice miss." The Dogoo replied, embracing the busty CPU.

"Do you have a name?"

"I'm Healy!" Replied the Dogoo.

"_Ara Ara_ aren't you just adorable." said Green Heart hugging the Dogoo. "Don't worry I'll keep you safe."

"Look I really do want to make it up to you all for all that crap I've done, it would be bad for business if people found out I was at odds with the CPUs. I can have 'Healy' show you around the place if you don't want to deal with me. So what do you say?" Asked Linda

"Very well, we shall explore what you have in store for us." Purple Heart.

"WHAT? Why are you agree to this?" Asked White Heart?

"If Linda has really changed then let's have her prove it. In fact let's make this into a challenge, if you can get all of us to enjoy spending time here we will endorse your resort. If not, we'll leave."

"You're just using this as an excuse to relax here aren't you?" Asked Black Heart.

"I don't know what you are talking about Noire, this IS work."

"Such a shame, I was looking forward to toying with you again." A lustful Iris Heart said.

"This does sound like a good idea." said White sister Rom.

"YAY! More fun at the beach!" Shouted Yellow Heart.

"Thank you, I promise none of you will regret this."

"You better hope so." Replied Black Sister as the CPUs backed off and deactivated their HDD.

"So what do you recommend, 'manager'?" asked Ram.

"Well… eh… we're hosting a world swimsuit contest today." Suggested Linda.

"A swimsuit contest?"

"Yeah. Everyone on the island can participate. It's an open contest for a chance to win rare console from the Tari age. Or just for bragging rights."

"Those competitions are rigged, only those with the biggest chest ever win." said Blanc.

"Oh my, then by the looks of it I won't have any real competition." Said Vert, baiting the petite Goddess into joining.

"What?! Do you think you stand a chance against my perfect figure?" Said Noire, not backing down from a challenge.

"Goddess me is called Perfect Heart for a reason! No way am I going to you lose two!" said Neptune.

"I'm tired of being put down by the likes of you! I'm going to win this!" shouted Blanc. "Where's this swimsuit competition?"

"On the beach by the stage, its..."

The CPUs had already bolted out, leaving IF alone with Linda, and a napping Ploot on the floor.

"Don't worry miss Linda, I'll make their stay here the best every." Healy floated off to follow the group.

"So, you're doing pretty good for an ex-ASIC follower." Said IF.

"Arfoire has been dead for a long time, I'm moving on and up in the world. Don't got any reason to go back to the streets with that damn rat." replied Linda.

"Well, you know what they say… some people never change. I wonder what old habits you refuse to let go."

Linda simply smiled at the Guild agent. "Have fun 'Iffy', I promise after today, you're never going to want to leave.

**Later on the Beach**

"How is she the manager of the resort?! This is wrong! And why haven't you arrested her yet?!" Neptune asked IF, probably angry that her favorite vacation spot was run by a felon.

"Well, she wasn't a major threat so the Guild never really went after her before. Our sources tell us that she has been here since the Eden incident, and wasn't able to afford a way back home. Although I never figured that bitch would make it as well as she did, but there's not really anything I can arrest her for now. And aren't you the one who accepted her request to stay on the island, why are you mad?"

"I… I don't know... I did it out of my duty as a CPU… so are you not going to do anything?" Pouted Neptune.

"My mission was to find out who the new owner of R-18 was and I've done that. I can't do anything more yet without Histoire's permission."

"She could be telling the truth Nep-Nep, it not the first time a bad guy gave up being evil and wanted to be our friend." Said Compa.

"I don't believe her. Iffy, you're a spy, you should go spy on her. She's obviously got some kind of nefarious plot against the whole world. Why else would she be stockpiling on Dogoos?"

"Would you like another smoothie miss?" Asked a Dogoo. Neptune snatched it off the tray and drank it.

"Come on Nep, I'm not going to waste any more time." said IF.

"Iffy…" Neptune started looking at her with puppy eyes.

"Damn it, Nep… fine I'll investigate a little more."

"YAY thanks Iffy." With a flash of light, Purple Heart appeared. "Planeptune thanks you for your service." And with that, she jetted off to the swimsuit competition.

"Aw, I was looking forward to spending some time with you Iffy."

"Well it seems I will be spending more time here." IF sighed.

"Do you believe Linda? That shes changed?" Asked Compa.

"She probably has something like illegal gambling here, but other than that I don't think she's some kind of mastermind like Nep was suggesting. I think Warechu was more intelligent than her."

"Well if it would make Nep-Nep feel better, I can help you." Compa suggested.

"Thanks Compa, but i can handle this 'side quest' Neptune has shoved on me. Keep an eye on the Goddesses, if something is going on, no doubt they'll be the target." IF asked her friend

"You can count on me!" Said Compa heading to the CPUs direction.

"Well maybe now the Dogoos will be a little more open." said Iffy, as she went on with her investigation.

**The swimsuit competition stage**

"Welcome all to the first-ever R-18 swimsuit competition." Said the announcer on the speaker system. "Today we have a very special line up with The CPUs themselves participating! In fact, let's just skip all of the other girls and move right to them. They are not competing for the special reward we have in store, but so they can have bragging rights to fuel their egos. Remember everyone in the audience gets one vote and may change it if they fancy a different girl. And up first is the CPU of the land of Purple Progress…"

"Greetings everyone," said Purple Heart striking a powerful pose above the crowd that revealed her wonderful curves. "I look forward to earning your hearts and votes."

"Wow look at that perfect purple figure with that complimenting black bikini. It's no wonder people still flock to Planeptune despite the constant instability."

"What did you say?!"

"Move aside pudding for brains, let me show you how it's done!" said Black Heart, pushing Purple Heart aside.

"Oh, hello everyone." She said, "Surely my figure is more deserving of your votes." Black Heart's score reached the same level's as Purple Heart.

"Such brimming confidence and charisma!" said the announcer. "She might not be able to win you over as a friend, but surely she will win your support."

"NOWA~WHAT! How dare you!" Black Heart was pulled off stage by Purple Heart.

"Now its time to show you all what true divine beauty looks like." said Green Heart, using her big assets to lure in the more perverted members of the audience. "Is this what you all have been waiting for?" Her score rose above both Purple Heart's and Black Heart's.

"Now isn't that some elegant beauty, hard to believe that someone as refined as her is just as much as a mess as the rest of you gamers out there. "

It was White Heart's turn, not sure of herself she had to muster all of her courage to step on the stage. "H-Hey, what do you all think?" White Heart asked the crowd, showing off… nothing.

An awkward silence fell over the crowd as they saw the Loli Goddess White Heart in her swimsuit. She was not sure whether to get mad or cry.

"QUESTION!" Asked someone in the audience. "Will we be arrested if we like her?"

"Eh, No…" Replied the announcer.

"….YEEEEEAAAAHHHHH WHITE HEART!" cheered the crowd.

"The crowd cheered on for the Goddess of Lowee, she stood there surprised that people actually liked her. White Heart started doing cutesy poses for the crowd as a thank you for their support, bringing her score above Green Heart's."

"Aww, isn't she a cutie? Up next is a girl who's been in the CPU business since before even these oldies were born, Uzume Tennouboshi!"

"Wait... what?! When did I...!?" Uzume panicked before she was dragged on stage by the CPUs. "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?!"

"This is the perfect opportunity for you to build up your confidence. Time to lose the shirt." said Purple Heart.

"You don't have to do this if it is too much." Said Umio.

"H-Ha! You think I'm scared of something like this?! I-I'll show you!" Uzume stepped on stage and stripped off her T-shirt with maximum coolness to reveal her magnificent beach body. The crowd and CPUs cheered for Uzume's bravery with Purple Heart giving her a thumbs up, while Nepgear wished she had that kind of confidence. Uzume's ranking skyrocketed, leaving everyone there in the dust. She stood there proudly posing for the crowd as they cheered louder than for the others.

"Hey, check out that red-haired babe!" said a member of the audience.

"I've never seen her here before. She's the old Goddess?" said another member.

"Wow, she's so bold!"

"What's this?!" Said the announcer, "Seems like the old Goddess has pulled a really daring move, but with it she has taken the lead! Thank the other Goddess she wasn't saggy!"

"Hey, isn't this a swimsuit contest?" asked an audience member.

"Who cares! She's got my vote for giving me this once in a life time feast for my eyes!"

"Uzume! Your top!" Shouted Umio.

"Wha-What?!" Her face slowly became a bright red with tears started forming around her eyes as she realized why she scored so high. Uzume had accidentally ripped her top off along with her T-shirt, with nothing but the ray of light covering her front.

"KKKKYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAA! PEOPLE ARE STARING AT UZUME'S BARE CHEST!" she cried out as she attempts to cover her chest.

While some in the crowd did feel genuinely bad for Uzume. No one could avert their eyes.

"While this would be grounds for disqualification, we will allow her to take the title of swimsuit championship, cause she's hot."

"This cannot stand! I will be the one to win this competition! Green Heart stripped off her swimsuit and let the people of R-18 bare witness to the beauty of the Leanbox Goddess. Her popularity skyrocketed to Uzume's levels. She turned to the other CPUs and playfully winked at them.

"Grrr! I WON'T LOSE TO YOU!" White proceeded to rip off her swimsuit as well, revealing her justice to the crowd. The rays of light prevented all of them from being arrested as they cheered even more for the two nude Goddesses.

"Auugh, this is too embarrassing, but I can't back down from a challenge!" Black Heart too stripped in front of the crowd. Making them feel lucky that Lady Black Heart would bless them with this moment.

"Tch, you are all so petty. Let me show you all the true beauty of a CPU!" Purple Heart follows suit with the other Goddesses. As they show their divine beauty to the crowd.

Meanwhile back at the Goddesses' basilicom, the Sharicites were glowing brighter than ever before. The Oracles were left astonished at the amount of faith put in the Goddesses, Histoire felt as if she had accomplished her life's dream. It was said that the intense light of the shares burned so bright you could see them from Earth, until realizing it was just a damn plane.

"AH!" Compa shields her eyes from the lewd Goddesses. "Please put some clothes on, you're killing people!"

Members of the audience began to drop on the floor from the loss of blood through their noses. Sounds of release could be heard from the speaker system as the announcers 'dies' over the sudden hotness.

"Oh no!" Said Healy as she grabbed a radio. "All Heal Dogoos, we have a mass casualty event at the swimsuit competition."

Several Heal Dogoos making ambulance sounds arrived from the resort and started to heal the members of the audience. Compa, Healy, and Umio rushed the CPUs off the stage to prevent further losses.

"Don't die on me mister!" Said a Heal Dogoo, slapping his face with its tentacle.

"HEAL!" A Heal Dogoo healled.

**Back at the resort**

IF had hit a dead end. She went back to interrogate Linda but found nothing that could suggest any wrongdoing. Her money was legit and every bit of her story checks out, she even made generous donations to those who have been victims of any of ASIC activities. Wanting to put the CPUs at ease, Linda came with IF for her to reveal her innocent to them. As they arrived at the main hall of the resort, they find the Goddesses lying on the chairs, covered with nothing but towels.

"Well, looks like someone had fun…" said Linda as she awkwardly chuckled.

"What the hell happened" Asked IF.

"They murdered dozens of virgins!" Said Compa.

"WHAT?!" Yelled IF and Linda.

"What she means to say is that the CPUs had stripped naked at the swimsuit competition and caused members of the audience to pass out." Said Umio.

"Oh, heh… I was worried for a sec." Said Linda.

"Hey, Iffy… did you find any dirt on Linda?" Asked Neptune, who seemed to be stumbling around as if she were drunk.

"Nothing, she was telling the truth." Replied IF, as Linda stood there with a massive smile on her face.

"That is good to hear, because I would like to spend more time at this resort." Said Vert, grabbing one of the R-18 special smoothies from a floating Dogoo.

"There still more things for us to do. We can't possibly leave until we've reviewed everything." Said Noire.

"I take it you're all enjoying your stay, well that's great to hear. In the meantime enjoy the rest of the free services we have to offer."

"We will!" Said the CPUs as Linda walked back to her office.

"Alright what the hell you four, I know you're all extremely competitive but what's gotten into all of you?!" Asked IF.

"I don't know… I just felt like following the rest of the CPU…" said Neptune as she leaned on Noire.

"Neptune… you feel warm." Said Noire as she reached under Neptune's towel.

"Noo Noire… this isn't a NepNowa fict..." Neptune giggled.

"Blanc I'm sorry for teasing you… let me make it up to you…" said Vert as she pulled Blanc into her chest."

"Ahhh~ bouncies…" said Blanc diving into the oppai.

"HUH?! This is getting too lewd!" Yelled Compa as she turned away.

"Uzume feels all fuzzy inside…" said Uzume as she hugged Umio.

"Uzume! Are you alright?!" Asked Umio.

"Fishy is soft, makes a good pillow for Uzume…"

IF looked around the floor to see dozens of discard glasses of that blue smoothie she keeps seeing. She quickly ran outside to check something, and sure enough… everyone was acting strangely and with a discarded glass by them.

"Uni… you don't know how long I've waited to do this… she leaned in to kiss Uni."

"Nepgear! " the two proceeded to cuddle on the warm sandy beach, next to their friends who were doing the same.

IF came back in to confront Healy. "Hey Healy, what the hell are in those drinks you and the other Dogoos keep serving everyone?! Are they alcoholic?!"

"No we don't serve liquor for free. They were drinking the R-18 special, I know it's not a very creative name but the flavor is really good."

"Then why is everyone acting so strange?!" Compa asked the Dogoo as she moved away from the Tsun and the Nep who were trying to pull her in.

"I really don't know. That's because they are all made off site. Come on I'll show you." said Healy as she waved the guild agent to follow her.

IF followed the Heal Dogoo while Compa watched the CPUs away from the resort and into the undeveloped parts of the island, the further away they went the more IF's suspicions grew. Healy stopped at the top of the hill and pointed to an old decrepit building that was blocked off by barbed wire and protected by armed guards.

"All of the ingredients to make the R-18 special are made here!" said Healy. Whatever was in these drinks, she needed to find out.

"Don't you find it suspicious that what your serving is made in an abandoned building that isn't marked on any map?

"I do, but this is the only place that would hire a Dogoo like me, so I don't question it too much." Healy replied.

"I see. Who's allowed in there?"

"Only the big Dogoos. They say that the secret formula used in the smoothies need to be protected. They come in with trucks and bring the smoothies directly to us, I just serve them." said Healy. "I want to know what's wrong with Vert, she was very nice to me."

"If that's the case then keep an eye on your boss. In case she tries to run, tell Compa."

"I will. be safe." Healy replied.

IF patiently waited for a convoy of the smoothie transport trucks to pass by. Sneaking on board the last one, she lay quietly in the back as the Dogoo drivers drove off with her to the mysterious building. She found a lone empty box inside marked R-18 special and an order list on top. Reading the list she found that all of the orders were approved not by Linda, but by a Dogoo. Linda's signature was no where on the papers.

Finally passing the security gate, IF dismounted and snuck past the workers as they waited for the truck and started loading large boxes destined to the resort. Using her petite figure, she was able to enter through the human size ventilation systems which only seem to exist for the purpose of infiltration. She crawled around for a few minutes before reaching what seemed to be the main mixing area for the smoothies. Curious as to what these Dogoos were doing, she moved in closer to investigate. Dogoo workers monitored automated machines which were churning out tons of blue powder, more likely than not, this was the secret ingredient to those smoothies the waiters kept forcing on everyone.

The agent stuck her finger inside of a vat and sampled it contents before spitting it out. She recognized the substance as Dogoo slime, from the times that they tried to enter her mouth. Not many people know this, but Dogoos have a bit of an aphrodisiac property in their slime making it difficult to resist them when they attack. This could explain as to why her friends have been acting so strangely.

Wanting to learn more, IF moved deeper into the facility, searching for anything else that could give her a better insight into what was going on here. Further down, IF could hear voices emitting from a large room in the back. She moved in closer to eavesdrop into the conversation, being careful not to be noticed. Inside, several Dogoos sat around a table with a rather large Dogoo heading the meeting.

"My fellow Dogoos, I am pleased to tell you that our patience and planning has finally paid off. Everyone who has ever killed a Dogoo has been lured to this resort, which we have turned into the perfect prison. The R-18 special has worked to perfection and made it so that they are drowning with pleasure and will not want to leave. And with everyone locked up here, we will finally be able to take over the mainland! And we Dogoos will take our rightful place on top!"

The Dogoos jiggled and cheered for the head Dogoo's speech. A new slimy empire was about to be born.

"Of COURSE Neptune was right… Why does there always have to be a world threatening plot. Damn it!" IF yelled in her head. There were too many Dogoos for her to take out, and with the CPUs incapacitated there was no way she could face all the Dogoos on the island alone. She would have to find reinforcements at the resort.

Passing the security gate and running back to the resort, IF searched for anyone who was able to assist her against the Dogoos, but she found the beach empty. She ran back into the resort and came across Healy, alone.

"Huh, what's going on miss IF?" Asked Healy.

"I cant believe im saying this, but Neptune was right about there being a nefarious plot. Dogoos are drugging everyone here so they can take over the mainland!" Explained IF.

"Naughty Dogoos are here?! But every Dogoo was screened before they were employed." Said Healy.

"I don't know they must have some serious determination. Wait, where the hell is Compa and the others? And why aren't you watching Linda?!"

"Linda was frightened by a 'sleeping monster' in her office and ran into a wall, she's out cold. And I saw big Dogoo men take everyone to their rooms." Replied Healy. "I don't think she knew about any of this by the way."

"Damn it! We have to get to Compa!"

The two rushed over to the main hotel and up several flights of stairs. It seems the Dogoos were locking up all of the Makers and CPUs for the invasion of Gamindustri. They manage to close in on the sound of Compa's screaming.

"Let me go you bad Dogoos! You said before that you were all nice!" Said an Angry Compa.

"You mean like that Healy? No, we exist to lewd, that is are only purpose for existing. And now we with the CPUs and their friend out of the way we will achieve our destiny!" Said the over zealous Dogoo man.

"I don't want to leave, can we move our basilicom here big sis?." Asked Uni as she was offered more of the numbing drink.

"Pea wants to move here too." Said Peashy, stumbling around

"I can stay here and cuddle my darling Nepgear forever now~" said Vert holding her stolen sister between her cleavage.

"Rom… Ram… I don't give you two enough attention… but I'm here now. Let big sister give you a hug!" Said Blanc cuddling her sisters.

"*Giggles* This is nice..." said Rom.

"I don't ever want this day to end." Replied Ram.

"How long do we have to keep them in here? I want to go back to the mainland!" Asked a Dogoo man in Dogoo speak.

"I don't mind tending to these girls, I saw we have a bit of fun before we turn them over." Suggested a pent up Dogoo man, who has been holding his true nature since he arrived.

*Knock Knock*

"Who's that?"

"Probably our replacements, so close..." the Dogoo man opened the door to see Healy carrying a tray of blue smoothies.

Hi? Would you like a smoothie? Healy smashed the glasses over the head of the Dogoo man and slapped the across the face with the metal tray.

IF materialized her katars and pounced on the nearest Dogoo man, beheading it and landing on the ground as it dissolved into a pile if goo. Healy flings her serving tray at the Dogoo man charging at IF, disorienting it as IF finished it off with a uppercut slash.

"IFFY BEHIND YOU!" Screamed Compa.

Using it glorious pecks, Iffy was grabbed by her sleeve and slammed onto a decorative table, the sudden pain caused her to drop her weapons.

"AW… You look very stressed, how would you like to try our 'full body' service?" The Dogoo man asked the pinned IF and it slowly untied her top. Healy tried to rescue her but was slapped away by the evil Dogoo man.

"NGH… like I told Neptune… I'm not here on vacation!" IF wrapped her legs around the arm of the Dogoo man and twisted it until it fell off its slimy body. Grabbing a piece of broken ceramic she jammed it into the head of the large head of the Dogoo man and watched as it collapsed onto the floor.

The last Dogoo man had enough of the small Guild agent, he moved in on IF in an attempt to strangle her only to be blinded by Healy who jumped on its face, the Dogoo man stumbled around the room until he hit his head on the window. Healy moved out of the way and IF jumped kicked it out of the window. A loud splat could be heard from the room.

"WOW! That was awesome…!" Said a drugged Nep stumbling over.

"Thanks Healy, eh, where did you learn to do all that?" Asked IF.

"When everyone wants to kill you because your a Dogoo, you have to learn how to defend yourself." Replied Healy, freeing Compa.

"Aww, why did you get rid of them, they were the only ones here?" Asked Vert.

"What are you talking about?" Said IF.

"The Dogoo said that the others were going back to Gamindustri in a cute Dogoo looking airship… heh heh. Said Noire, hugging her little sister.

"Damn it…" IF looks to the last surviving Dogoo man and grabs it by its neck. "YOU! WHERE IS THAT AIRSHIP?!"

"You're too late, we Dogoo will no longer be lower class mobs to be stepped on. Our age begins noOOOOW! IF twisted Dogoo's the nipples, the one weakness to having massive pecks. But it really was to late, a large Dogoo shaped Balloon could be seen outside the window, with the boss Dogoo leaving to Gamindustri.

"Damn." IF curb stomps the Dogoo man and rushed outside with Healy and Compa. The massive Dogoo airship was already too high in the air for them to reach.

"We can let those Dogoo reach the mainland!" Yelled IF as she tried to figure out how to stop them.

"The CPUs are too disoriented to fly, and Plutia is too deep into her nap." Said Compa.

"That's too high for me to float up there." Said Healy.

The Dogoos began to taunt the three like medieval Frenchmen, angering the good Dogoo.

"You give us Dogoos a bad name!" Yelled Healy as she launch a volleyball at them using her stretchy slime, hitting one on the head and knocking them overboard.

"Huh… that gives me an idea." Said IF, grabbing Compa's needle and having Healy stretch herself to grab the ends of the volleyball net poles.

"Sir, the engines have warmed up, shall we head to Planeptune now?" Asked a Dogoo crewman.

"No, let us take the time to continue to taunt the little girlies!" Said the boss Dogoo, shaking its slimy ass at them. The Dogoo shaped balloon was suddenly struck by an oversized needle, followed by another Compa needle salvo.

"THEY ARE TRYING TO POP THE BALLOON!" said a crewgoo.

"EMERGENCY SEAL NOW!" The Dogoos formed around the balloon and continued on around their flight. "Ha! It will take more than that to keep us from our lewding destiny!"

Realizing that the needles may not be enough, IF decided on something more drastic.

"Ready Healy?!" Asked IF as she was readying herself to be launched at the balloon.

"Ngh… ready!" Healy struggled to say as she was stretched to launch the guild agent.

"FIRE!" Yelled Compa as she released Healy and flung IF towards the balloon. The Dogoos attempted to shoot her down with Dogoo cannons, but IF ultimately made it through the barrage.

"Demonic inferno!" IF transformed into a fiery ball of flames and tore straight through the balloon, melting it and bringing the airship down. Dogoos began to panic. Some jumping overboard and parachuting to the ocean where they would drown. She grabbed a Dogoo and used it as a parachute, safely landing on the beach.

"Are you okay Iffy?" Said Compa, rushing towards IF's landing spot."

"Huh… that was kind of easy...?" Commented IF.

"Those Dogoo may have been somewhat crafty, but they were still just dumb evil Dogoos." Said Healy.

"Yeah… I guess…" IF flopped onto the sand, exhausted from all the running and fighting. "Now what?"

"Well, we are at a resort, why don't we actually spend time and relax without something sinister happening." Suggested Compa.

"Your friends are alright, the effects of the smoothies will wear off in are while so you have the entire place to yourselves!" Said Healy.

"Well, I guess now we can finally spend some time together." IF and Compa walked towards the resort, with Healy guiding them to the all of the best parts that still have good Dogoos are trending them. The two enjoyed themselves without having to worry about threats or the CPUs, and spent their whole time focusing on each other. It was their best summer they had had in forever.


End file.
